Trigger Warning: This post references, but does not link to, a Reddit thread which contains detailed descriptions of sexual assault. Other articles linked here quote from and link to the aforementioned Reddit thread.
Reddit recently asked its users to share the “other” side of sexual assault, that is the perspective of the assailant. Reddit wanted to know, “What were your motivations? Do you regret it?” In response, users provided detailed descriptions of their methods, motives, and common targets of rape and attempted rape. Jezebel outlined the various rationalities behind these rapists’ actions, which include “mixed-messages” from women, peer-pressure, and men’s sexual desire as motives for committing rape. Though they recognize what they did as rape, these posters do not see the incredible harm caused by their actions.
Survivors of rape also added their own stories and responses to the thread. Some connected with the victims described and found reading the stories to be a positive experience, while others were more disgusted than gratified after reading the story.
A chilling aspect of the reddit users’ accounts of rape is that it highlights just how easy it is to get away with sexual assault. One poster describes himself as “a good looking guy,” and thus was easily able to pick up girls he perceived to be weak or with low self-esteem. He also describes himself as protected by his connections with law enforcement and his school’s administration, whom he claims would take his side, had any of his victims come forward.
When their story does not fit the stereotypical stranger-in-the-dark-alley outline, victims will often find it much more difficult to be believed if they choose to come forward, a fact these perpetrators are apparently fully aware of. The perception that only certain types of men rape is dangerous as it not only allows many perpetrators to go unnoticed, but also puts the onus on women to avoid certain types of men. As one user says, “hopefully girls reading will be a little more wary of some of the tricks you’ve outlined with guys in future,” as though it is possible for girls to “avoid” being raped.
Reddit, an already notoriously anti-women site, has received media attention for posing the question to perpetrators of sexual assault. As reported by the Huffington Post, some have criticized the thread for providing an open forum for rape-apologists, while others have applauded its ability to start an open-dialogue on the nature of sexual assault. Alexis Moore of Survivors In Action, Inc. believes the thread could provide continued victimization:
“This will perhaps be another method that will be utilized by cyberstalkers for what we call cybervengence to harass, intimidate and torture victims”
Gloria Allred, notable women’s rights attorney, sees the positive effects of the thread. Allred states that to fight sexual assault, all sides need to be engaged in the conversation:
“If we can understand those who have committed sexual assault, then perhaps we can help to engage them, the victimizers, in a conversation about the harm that it does to the victims and why they should never engage in another sexual assault again.”
The thread also provides an account of just how much rape culture can affect our daily lives, in particular the lives of women. Some posters expressed seeing value in these stories as it informs girls which guys to watch out for. But, as other posters point out, there is now way to pick out a rapist in a crowd, and to suggest that there is implies it is the fault of the victim, should she be raped. As some posters point, a pervasive rape culture means women must constantly be wary of what they wear, where they go, what they drink, etc, a mentality female posters say they hope will become clear to men after reading the thread.
Thanks to Sonia for the tip.